Kristine Asato
1 November 2010
RD #3
A Helpful Lie
We take this next step into the world as future leaders. We will grow into adulthood and parenthood. Through our future we will be faced with many problems that will question the value of our own ethics. It is then that we may look back on this day, and remember what it is we have learned. Countless hours of study sessions, and coffee breaks have brought us here. But lies have also brought us here to. Little white lies we may have made to friends or teachers, but initially all of it brought us here today. [THESIS] Honesty paves the way into our future. [THESIS]
As a child we all grew up around people that we have looked up to and learned from. As student’s we have done the same. The chances that our mentors were never completely honest with us, is very high. But in the end we are better because of it. Our role models and mentors have taught us valuable lessons, some through lies. But they also knew how to be honest so that we are better prepared for our future.
One example, as leaders is right and wrong. We are teachers, and our students ask us if it’s ok to lie. There is no right or wrong answer. But in every situation there is a motive to lying, and as leaders we must be able to see what it is. If a student or child is lying because of fear of any consequences we must draw the line ourselves. We must be able to explain the boundaries. Some children may see lying as a “temporary shelter from punishment.” states Dr. T. Quek. The child will anticipate their punishment, and lie to avoid it. Dr. Quek goes on to explain that if there is fear in a relationship that causes one to lie, it is important to let it be understood that there are negotiable boundaries. As parents, the boundaries are always more flexible. But as teachers, we are just another test to the next generation. As teachers, we must tighten those boundaries so that our students are able to enter society with a better understanding of the use of their honesty.
When our children get older, they will enter relationships with other people. Some intimate, and some merely for company. If we failed as mentors to teach our children how to be honest, then their relationships with others may be jeopardized. Our children watch what we do with our relationships, and study the way we value each of friendship. By merely being around others, we are teaching our children. Since the day they were born, whether they would like to admit it or not, we are our children’s role model.
One very common example is whether or not you should tell your friend their new girlfriend is a complete cheat and a liar. In many situations the answer would be to tell your friend everything. “I would rather tell my friend in the beginning before anything gets really serious…” says classmate Teryn Tadani. It is always hard to say guarantee whether it is ok to tell the truth or not, because the situations are never the same. But being able to socially analyze this situation and be able to decide whether or not to be honest is a trait that comes from many years of trial and error. The decision will decide the future of both a friendship and an intimate relationship.
There may be a situation where it is imperative that our children tell the truth. Where as sometimes our children may get away with lying, and no one will get hurt. It is because of these situations that we must teach our children not to be afraid of the truth. As parents and teacher’s we cannot always be there for our children. We will not be there to hold their hand during their first job interview, but we can hope that our teachings did not go unheard. If our children mess up on an interview because they lied, it would fall on us for not teaching them properly. But being able to know when or how to be honest, may get our children a job and will better prepare them for their future.
There are many different ways to encourage honesty in our children. There are books, movies, and activities that can be done. As the leaders of tomorrow, we must take the initiative to take part in this education. Honesty may not always be the best policy, but it’s a pretty good one to follow. When a friend asks you a personal question, it is a chance for you either to lie about it or be honest to both your friend and yourself. For example, a friend asks you “Do you like June?” and you don’t know how to answer. But confronting even a simple questions like this allows us to, “open a space for the rest of us to confront our own fears and moral shortcuts.” Schulman.
Now that we are older, we should be able to determine whether or not a lie is a good or bad choice. As future leaders is it our job to teach the next generation when it’s ok to use a white lie, or to bluntly tell the truth. There are many different situations and “every situation is unique and there are ways of justifying omission.” Claims my classmate Kelli Tsukamoto during a class discussion. I find this statement to be very true. Even as adults we may not even be able to decipher the difference. But we have learned and enough because it has got us to where we stand today. As parents we may put our children into specific situations, and sometimes even test our children’s ability to make a decision. We must prepare the future generation.
The trick is to know when to be honest, and to be able to recognize a situation that demands complete honesty. Telling the truth all the time is nearly impossible. But the truth is a very powerful weapon, in the hands of those that know how to use it. Learning how to lie, and when to be honest is easy with training and practice from the right teachers. As the future leaders of tomorrow, we must master this art, in order to make our own way into the future. We must also master it so that we can pass on our knowledge into the future as well.
Quek, Timothy. "The Truth about a Child's Compulsive Lying." Dr. Timothy K. Quek's Webpage. 8 Apr. 2003. 1 November 2010. <http://webhome.idirect.com/~readon/lies.html>.
Schulman, Miriam. “Truth and Consequences.” Markkula Center For Applied Ethics. 2008. 1 November 2010
< http://www.webcitation.org/5iXHGiD2a>
Tadani, Teryn. Class Discussion. October 26, 2010
Tsukamoto, Kelli. Class Discussion. October 22, 2010
Zak, Dan. “The Truth About Lying.” The Washington Post 25 November 2007: The Washington Post Company. 1 November 2010
< http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/11/21/AR2007112102164.html>
Hi Kristine,
ReplyDeleteThough I did like your closing paragraph, your essay could still use more work in order to be its best. For instance, although your draft was readable without strange characters, and is complete with the parts mentioned in the guidelines, it needs a thesis statement more relevant to the argument and more effort into revision before submitting it.
Though the argument is clear for the assignment (with emphasis #2), the thesis statement does not entirely relate to this argument. Throughout the paper, you talk about knowing when to lie as parents and teachers but your thesis statement does not reflect the selective lying or even its role for future teachers and parents.
Secondly, despite following the basic formatting rules required and necessary word count, there were problems with sentence fragments throughout the paper. An example would be the first couple of sentences in the essay. They could be combined to make a more complete thought rather than leaving them as two separate sentences.
Finally, don’t forget about proper MLA formatting! Be sure to include proper in-text MLA citations as well as a works cited section complete with a heading and proper formatting according to the guidelines found in the links on the Eng 215W webpage.
Good luck Kristine! Hope these comments help!
Sincerely,
Russell Romano-Kelly
Hi Kristine,
ReplyDeleteI like your analysis of relationship and relating it with mentoring children and our future generations. However, I will be interested some more clarifications with regard to your ideas. For e.g. I am unable to see a consistent expansion of ideas in your paragraphs and hence the complete essay. I completely agree with comments made by Russell.
Next, the prescribed format was addressing to graduating students, so can you change your essay to reflect a speech type format? Finally, althought I would not totally agree with your end statement to master the art of lying, it would be better if you would mention the specifics when and where lying is admissible, instead of generalizing it.
Hope it helps
Hey, Kristine
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your opening paragraph. You smoothly transitioned your thesis into your introduction. I do not agree with Russell’s opinion about your conclusion paragraph, I believe that you should rewrite it. I agree with Russell in that “Throughout the paper, you talk about knowing when to lie as parents and teachers but your thesis statement does not reflect the selective lying or even its role for future teachers and parents.”
You have done an excellent job of keeping your thesis one sentence in length. You have properly omitted indents from the start of paragraphs, avoided using all caps and right justification. Your paper is free of strange characters and symbols and you have maintained proper spacing through out the entire paper. Your paper has met the minimum word requirement. Sentence fragments disconnected your thoughts. There is a lack of transition between paragraphs in your paper.
I enjoyed reading your chosen classmate quote and your reference to Dr. Quek. You have created a solid foundation for a good paper. However, your MLA formatting needs work. You have improperly cited the Laulima forum postings. Your works cited section was sloppily placed and is connected to your conclusion paragraph. You omitted a works cited heading, and forgot to place periods at the end of your references. Don't forget to abbreviate October and November in your works cited. I suggest that you look over the list of style errors and MLA guidelines.
Kristine, I hope my comments will help you, good luck with your FD3!
Aloha Kristine,
ReplyDeleteThe first thing that stands out is your “works-cited” page. You must remember to make the adjustment on your final paper; this would be a crucial error.
I think you gave good example to back your thesis statement, however, you did lose focus a couple of times. If you reorganized the speech a bit different, I think you would have a good final piece.
The ending of your paper is interesting and different than what I was expecting, so I guess that’s good, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell people they should learn to lie at in a truth speech. I understand you’re being honest, but it makes me wonder as a reader if you’re telling the truth. No disrespect because I’m not saying you’re lying, this is just what I would be thinking if I heard this at a speech.
Good start and good luck on your final.
David G